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Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Life moves pretty fast...if you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

It seems all I do these days is work, and then that wears me out so much that on my few and far between days off, I simply crash. I'm not complaining about the workload, but I do wish I didn't have to work as much as I do. It's still uber depressing when, within two days of payday, but bank account is nearly depleted because of bills. I know, I know--welcome to the real world, right? The reality of the situation is that I've been living in the so-called "real world" for quite some time, and it sure hasn't gotten any easier. Sorry--just felt like complaining. So, let's see...I haven't updated my blog in about 3 months, so I guess I should play catch up a little bit.
One of the big changes would have to be that I'm no longer in Rachael's wedding. I won't even be attending it, actually. Since this is a public blog--even if very few people read it--I'm not going into specifics of why this came to be. The few who need to know are aware of what happened, and that's enough. I still love Rachael very much, and I miss her every single day, but life sometimes happens differently than we plan. Life since my Oxford days has changed quite a bit, and while that's not necessarily a bad thing, it pains me and literally brings me to tears sometimes to think back on those days when I was so very happy and life--though busy--was so much easier. I miss the closeness, and that knowledge that your friends had your back, no matter what. My girls have always been amazing, and it hurts so much not to be closer to so many of them.
I have recently purchased GRE flashcards and borrowed some study guides from friends, so I'm slowly preparing to take the GRE late this summer and hopefully be in grad school by fall or spring at the latest. I miss discussing Psychology and learning new facts all the time. I hope that I will one day realize my dream of being a well-respected therapist.
Allie turned 21 in April, and her party was so much fun! I bought her a flask, and we had people over to our apartment before going out and painting the town red! Haha it was fun, and it's awesome that we can go out wherever we want now, money permitting of course. My 24th birthday (can you believe it?!) was a lot of fun too , and I love my friends so much for making it so special for me--and for getting me obliterated like every good birthday girl should be ;). Love y'all!

Recently, I've had to witness one of my best friends, Kristin, be put through hell by somebody who claimed to be her good friend. Let me tell you--repeatedly embarrassing somebody, failing to ever be there for them when they need it, and talking about them behind their back (and making up a lot of lies in the process) does not make a good friend--or a friend at all. People who really know Kristin know that she has a heart of gold, and though she is blunt with her opinions, they are not intended to hurt anybody. She knows more about me than just about anybody, and has never (no matter how mad we may be at each other on rare occasions) used any of my past demons or issues against me. I doubt it has ever even crossed her mind, because she would never stoop so low. Though I hate to hear her being talked about, this has served to make me so grateful for the wonderful friends I have been blessed with--and even more blessed to still have them in my life. What goes around comes around for sure, and I am reminded every day that I am incredibly lucky.
That being said, I'm not a particularly happy person right now--and sometimes I just don't know why. I know at this point in my life that not always knowing is okay, and I just have to work through it. I feel like something is missing from my life (apart from the ridiculous physical distance between me and some of my best friends), and I hope that school will help that. I love to learn, and even study, so I need to be immersed in that life again. I miss Ole Miss so much sometimes it is physically painful. There is no place in the world quite like that little town of Oxford, and I am so glad I was able to spend 5 years of my life there. Missing it reminds me how lucky I was to have that time and opportunity. The lessons I learned, both inside the classroom and out, as well as the friendships I formed while there are priceless and can never be replaced. Since I've been back in Chattanooga, I have loved making new great friends and spending time with my parents about once a week instead of two or three times a year. Part of me still feels like Oxford is home also, and it still remains confusing seeing as how a piece of my heart remains there and probably will forever. It seems like I'm complaining, but I do know that few people are fortunate enough to have two places that will always feel exactly like coming home.

The new friends I've made here are so funny and awesome, and sometimes they remind me so much of my Oxford and GPS girls. Allie is still a stellar roommate, and I count friends like Laura, Tim, Murphy, Evie, Allison, and Kayla to be some of my new angels on Earth. They are all extremely loyal--and always make me laugh to the point where catching my breath seems like an impossible task. How'd I get so lucky? That reminds me that Jamie came into town and stopped by my work to see me a couple of days ago--and I was ecstatic! I miss Karen, Jamie, Iz, and Erika so very much, but I'm thrilled that they are all doing so well in life. I still can't belive Erika and Jamie are both engaged--are we really old enough for that?! I can't wait to see Karen soon, and I hope to see all of them in the near future. Also, I'm ready for July to see Elise and Kristin. These plans keep me going sometimes, I swear! At any rate, tomorrow is one of my few and precious days off--so I'm going to play tonight! I'll try to blog soon, but no promises!

1 comment:

  1. Those are like the best pictures ever of all the happiest moments! THere is truly a reason so many people love you kelly, and hopefully in my blog i've at least expounded on a few.

    Thanks for showing me what a friend acts like WITHOUT BEING ASKED to do so. Its nice when you can clearly see someone isn't just being loyal out of some need to feel in a group, but instead you know the relationship we have had and you know the real me. I'm so glad we had our times together even though some of them were pretty rough, i'll never look at a hot tub the same way without thinking of you.

    *cue golden girls theme song lol